Normally I’ll be writing about professional sports and concussion, but this time I just want to write some stuff down that may or may not make sense to anyone else.
I just started reading a book by Chuck Klosterman and I thought how good, how much of a release it must be to just write thoughts down and see what comes next. For example, I plan to write a bit about my life since my brain injury, but that’s as far as I’ve planned. I still don’t know what it will look like or how it will read.
I’m not even sure where to start, but it’s my blog and I’ll just write stuff until an idea pops into my head. I guess I can start with my frustrations, but this could just end up being me rambling on. Sometimes I’m ok with not being able to play or do the sports I used to and maybe that’s why I like watching football so much. I never played it as an organized sport. Basketball, on the other hand, is really aggravating because I did play that and I loved it. Watching March Madness is always awesome, but it also pisses me off a bit. Water polo is easily the most frustrating. I help out with some minor officiating on Wednesdays with my old club team in St. John’s. Don’t get me wrong it’s great ,but it’s especially aggravating that I can’t play, shoot or even pass (this God damn double vision). Not only can’t I play, but even my former team mates here haven’t seen me when I was playing my best. That drives me nuts. I was pretty good when I played with them, but I didn’t have much strength or confidence behind my game. I finally got some of that when I was playing at Queen’s.
I can see this post tuning into a big complaint saga. And another thing…, you know what pisses me off….
I’ll try to write freely, but I’m so self-critical that I know I’ll edit myself, so this probably won’t be as frank as I envisaged.
In general, the most annoying effects of my brain injury is fatigue. When I was very active in sports, it took a lot for me to get tired. It’s easier, now, but I don’t know if that’s age, bring less active, or solely a symptom. I know that fatigue is a major symptom of all brain injury and I know that by keeping active I’m helping fight it off. That said, it’s still an influence on my everyday life and I’m still not doing the best job of evaluating my fatigue or recognizing what will make me tired.